The tragedy of "the big shop"

Comic relief...

...the relief being that it's over for another year.

Someone in our office came dressed as Amy Winehouse and we had a raffle.

Raised about £100.

Apparently the overall total raised was a record breaking £74,360,207.

That's all the more impressive when you consider the content of this years show.

From occasionally glancing at the screen in the pub i saw enough evidence to suggest that the quality of the sketches remains as awful as ever. Nor but mate, The new Smithy sketch.

I used to think having the likes of Lenny Henry, James Corden, Miranda Hart, Michael McIntyre etc involved was counter productive and detrimental to the viewing figures. Obviously i'm wrong. That's clearly not the case, for whatever reason the majority of people seem to buzz off shit that isn't funny.

It's totally baffling but at least for one day of the year we can say "something good has came of Chris Moyles' existance"

I'm not going to let it anger me anymore.

Lenny Henry

This poster has pissed me off all week.



Do something Funny for money.

What like? Appear in a shit sitcom about a chef?...Perform a standup routine largely consisting of noises and accents with particular emphasis on the cultural differences between life in Jamaica and life in Birmingham?...Get a divorce and check into a Premier inn? Something like that?

Roll on Friday

I'm totally psyched for the wacky antics on Friday.

Betterware

Until today i'd forgotten all about the Betterware catalogue. I noticed a copy lying on our doormat just earlier and it prompted flashbacks to my youth where i'd ocasionally answer the door and have to explain to the vendor how the magazine had been thrown out, much to their disdain.

As if it's still going though. All of the products just look like things you'd see getting torn apart on Dragon's Den.

Stuff like this...



Honourable mentions go to the "Cracker keeper" (which as far as i can tell is no different to any standard plastic tub) and the "Dinosaur sandwich cutter" which cuts your sandwich into the shape of a Dinosaur and renders 30% of it useless in the process.

Mint.

I'll look forward to "Amanda" coming to collect it next week.

A morbid fascination with online user reviews

Sorry to keep doing this but this is possibly the worst one i've came across so far. A customer review of Peter Kay's live at the top of the tower DVD.....

GARLIC BREAD!!
horrorboyharribo | 20/02/2010 | See all horrorboyharribo's reviews (8) »

the best thing about this genius dvd is the scene of garlic bread!! how did he think of this, peter kay is my hero andI reccomend this to any newcomers to kay. if you do buy it let me tell you, you may be in for a bit of a treat

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Yes how on earth did he think of it?

Fuckin' ell.

For the past few weeks i've been lamenting the removal of the Minstrels machine from the Poverina. I can only assume the decision was taken due to the long queues customers faced.

But it's not all doom and gloom though in terms of nightlife in Nozza....

The internet thinks it knows me

Each time i log in to Facebook i'm greeted with a message in the sidebar reading...

Want a woman who likes Black Sabbath as much as you do?

So a woman who thinks they were decent but doesn't proper buzz off them and finds it hard to listen to them without getting sidetracked thinking about what an embarassment Ozzy Osbourne is for having agreed to let "The Osbourne's" happen and also appear in numerous adverts for butter and a computer game made for the saddest cunts on the planet (Warcraft)

Yea go on find me one.