Maybe i don't go to enough parties...

On my last 2 visits to ASDA I've been served by the same woman. And each time she's asked "are we having a party?"

Besides the initial irritation at the use of the word "we" suggesting that myself and her would be interacting beyond the stage of tedious checkout banter, I aslo found it strange that she would ask such a question on account of the items i'd bought.

On the first occasion I'd bought a case of own brand lager, a baguette and 2 Pot Noodles.

The second time I had 12 Cans of Beck's, some V05 wax and a packet of Spaghetti.

How on earth could I host a succesful party with those items? Who would possibly come?

I find it infuriating when people can't tell the difference between HD and standard definition TV.

They're the equivalent of a relative who knew you were into Lego as a child but inexplicably ended up buying you "Mega blocks" at Christmas.

How don't you notice the difference?

Premature Guy Outside Bargain Booze

I saw a "Guy" on the way home from work today. Not a bloke. But one of those bundles of rags which you're supposed to recognise as Guy Fawkes.

A guy In October.

Scruffy cunts.

Another one for the scrapbook