I got 99 problems but the wallpaper in my living room ain't one

A taste of my own medicine I suppose.

I was bored waiting for the Palace V Cardiff match to start and decided to have a pop at Gary Neville to pass the time.
As the game kicked off I put my phone to one side and thought no more of it.
Such was the poor quality of the match I ended up falling asleep. When I awoke it was half time and I reverted back to Twitter to kill time before the restart.
I was agog when logging in to find I had 30+ @mentions. What could of happened?

It turned out Gary Neville had retweeted my jibe. For a split second I thought it was decent craic of him to acknowledge it as "banter"




Ever the cynic, I soon changed my stance as it became obvious he just wanted his followers to wade in and back him up. It had mixed success......







MattSellick9 clearly doesn't know me very well. A 25 year old man who still shares a room with his brother has better things to be embarassed about besides the Wallpaper in his living room. Especially since I had no input into the decorating.

And the witty DanMoorse Pointing out that I look like a bellend in "that hat" Isn't telling me anything I didn't already know. I look like a bellend no matter what I'm doing.

Well, GNev won in the end. I couldn't handle the limelight and shut down my Twitter account as a result. The alternative was to respond to all the abuse and in turn get more back. What's the point? Couldn't be arsed with all the notifications.
I've got a new profile now but trying to knock the celeb bashing on the head.

#THECHASEISBETTERTHANTHECATCH

Looking back, there was nothing remotely enjoyable about the Conquest's "Flaming Burger challenge"







It's far more challenging trying to work out what the customer gets out of it.

It wasn't really that nice, cost just under a tenner and made me feel like a sack of shit.

To add insult to injury I was denied my place on the "Wall of flame" due to a fault with the camera.

Probably for the best really. Someone would of only drawn a cock on it.

Imagine a you've been framed clip of some embarassing awld Grandad dancing like a cocky cunt whilst wearing a severely weathered planet of the apes mask......

You've just imagined Mick Jagger...Or rather, "the moves" of Mick Jagger.

Strange then that Maroon 5 see this as a positive and feel the need to celebrate his actions.

The song moooo-oooo-oooo-oooo-oooo-ooooooves me to tears.

2012

You're probably wondering how I've typed this and indeed how you're reading this, what with all that Mayan calendar craic signalling the end of Mankind in 2012.

It's just as well that it turned out to be a crock of shit otherwise this'd of been a waste of time......



£160 in total.

I could go down to ASDA, swagger on over to the Coinstar and have the greeter treat me like royalty.
But after all that time collecting I now begrudge the coinstar taking it's 8.9p of every pound. Take that out of £160 and you've got.......well a lot more than I'd like to give away.

I'll take it to the bank and maximise my return. Becoming something of a tight cunt now like. Can only be a good thing.

I'm well pleased with this achievement though, it's on a par with giving up Kebab meat in 2007. And it's another reminder that if I set my mind to it I can achieve anything.

Well maybe not anything...I'm struggling to think of a target for 2012. There's plenty of ways I could improve myself and improve my life but I need to be realistic.

It feels even more relevant that I should look to sort my craic out with a birthday fast approaching. As another year passes and I move another step towards the grave I can't help but wonder where the journey is taking me.

At the minute I'm semi content. My job, relationship and living situations could all be vastly improved but at the same time I don't really mind what I've got.

I've had no specific goals/targets for years now. Just been carrying on and seeing if anything happens. It probably wont with this attitude.

Proudly displaying another Twitter screenshot like a mounted Deer's head in my log cabin of shit craic.....

Late night exchange with Dane Bowers



Last celeb rise of 2011. Seriously going to try cut down in the new year.

Months back I was presented with a challenge....



"Michael, you need to vote which one you'd prefer for the Christmas night out"

Decisions, decisions ey?

It's alarming how P!nk seems to have become a staple of the tribute scene. Largely due to the fact that she's dog shit.

Likewise Katy Perry. It was only last week we had Katy Kerry play Normanby. I couldn't justify the £3.50 entrance fee so I can only speculate on how tragic that was.

Needless to say I didn't attend the Christmas "do"

An irritating Christmas tie

This tie proper pisses me off.

Besides being generally gaudy, there's a whole host of issues that make no sense.

Why does Father Christmas have to be playing golf?

Why Is his caddy half man, half Reindeer?

If the ball is in the air, what is the white sheet that it's smashing into? A peice of floating ice?

The tie lights up and plays a jingle when you press the button. But the light is just a plain red dot. Understandable if it was on the end of the Reindeer bloke's nose but it's just slap bang in the middle of the tie and therefore totally irrelevant.