Junk Mail

Some of the junk mail that passes through our letterbox is just ridiculous. It seems that every day in Middlesbrough there's a new takeaway opening, and the owners are only too keen to show us their "exciting" new menu. More often than not it'll be the kind with unflattering pictures of the food. Like a pizza that looks like it's been dropped on the floor then hastily scooped onto a plate for a quick photoshoot. They may as well show a picture of some drunk dangling a strip of kebab meat into their mouth for all the presentation is worth.

With the election just around the corner we've been bombarded by mail from the various parties. The amount of Ian Swales leaflets in particular has got beyond irritating. Christ knows what the Lib Dems budget is but if the stack of unopened mail on our table is anything to go by then it hasn't been money well spent.

Anyway, the piece of mail that prompted me to write this was a promotional flyer for a bouncy castle hire company. Their "special offer" being - hire 4 castles and get your 5th one free. I bet their phonelines are off the fucking hook.
4 Bouncy castles for the price of 5. What a deal!

How many bouncy castle events does the average household host per year?
You wonder what goes on in peoples heads. Also a quick glance at google earth would of told them that the majority of houses round our way aren't capable of housing a bouncy castle.

The flyer also claims that a bouncy castle is ideal for any celebration and then goes on to list...

*Playgroups
*School Fetes
*Birthdays
*Barbequeues
*Fundays
*School holiday entertainment

But of the above i only recognise a birthday as being a valid celebration.

"Hey cool bouncy castle, what are you guys celebrating?"

"Hey man thanks, we're just celebrating our barbequeue, y'know"

A celebration of charred sausages, and Dad's wearing shite comedy aprons.

It's the most inappropriate peice of mail i've received since this old chestnut from 2008..